This journey to becoming a leader has taken some unusual twists and turns. It is hard to know where to begin. But the net is, I thought I’d be stepping forward into something. Yet it seems like I am actually stepping backward into something.

Stepping backward is not a bad thing. Particularly if, due to unconsciousness, arrogance or both, you have put your self in a position that is ahead of where you are, where you should be, or both. The net is, in this case it feels right.

Let me make this less obscure by giving you two examples. Mind you, these are just two examples of how my life is changing as I work with One Client, the one client I am on retainer with this year in order to assist myself in the journey to becoming a leader.

For four years I’ve been “leading” this monthly executive team tactical meeting for the CEO. When people gave their progress updates, they’d look to Pamela (my business partner) or me. And typically, I’d be running the meeting, so they’d look primarily to me. This meeting, which should have been one of the most important for the the CEO and his senior leadership team, was seen as “Otis and Pamela’s meeting.” This put us in a unique position in the company–and looking back, a somewhat strange one.

Gary, a C-level executive, handed out a single page at last month’s meeting. It was a quotation by Peter Drucker saying that ‘most of what we call management actually makes it more difficult for people to do their work.’ Gary, a brilliant man, is quite passive-aggressive with equal intensity. This wasn’t unexpected. Gary hates these meetings. In one way or another, he lets everyone know in each meeting. The problem is, Gary won’t tell you why he hates these meeting. He pulls a stunt like that, and the energy bleeds out of the room for 1o minutes.

I’ve known for some time that there is something right about Gary’s reasons for hating the meeting. So, at last month’s meeting, I called his stunt. I told the team–all 15 of ‘em–that Pamela and I would contact each to get their feedback on the meeting… how to improve it, whether to continue it. We told them we’d review the information with the CEO, George, and ask him to make any adjustments he wanted to make. So we did.

There we sat with George last Wednesday, reviewing the findings. We saved Gary’s comments for last. I said to George, “He didn’t straight out say it, but what Gary really feels is that you need to run this meeting.” George looked at Pamela and me over his reading glasses, thinking. And he said, “I think I should. I think when people are giving their updates they should look me in the eyes. That will increase accountability.”

The next day that happened, George led the meeting. Pamela and I shifted into a support role. I stepped backward, and boy was that right. It was their best meeting ever, and given that accountability is actually one of their initiatives this year, the note just got sounded right at the epicenter of the organization… as it should be, as it must be. Otherwise, it wouldn’t work.

It is very important for you to know that this would not have happened had we simply resisted Gary. Gary can be so incredibly annoying that we could have avoided this altogether–no one would have expected us to do what we did. In fact, we likely had the “power” to get one of the two people above him to ask him to back down and fall in line. But my instincts told me to open up and move in to it–to find what was right among all that was wrong about what he was doing and bringing. For example, it was clear to all to see that Gary was actually trying to avoid being accountable for his goals. But I could feel it–and I think everyone else could–that there was something right and he wouldn’t–or couldn’t–speak it.

That one act led to one change that may be a watershed for this organization. The reality is that our role there–at face value–has lessened. We took a step back. In fact, at the end of our retainer, it’s now easier to for them to go one without us. Yet, for me, becoming a leader isn’t about remaining needed. It is about learning and growing and supporting my evolution and the evolution of those around me. So, stepping back was right. Stepping back was powerful. Stepping back was the unknown and the new.

I enjoyed last week immensely, though it was quite exhausting. Which brings me to my second example of how we stepped back last week. But that example will need to wait.

What are you resisting now that–if you were to go in to it by asking what is right about it–would enable you to become a better leader? There are always (and I mean always) the answers we most need stuck right in the middle of what we most resist. Go there. I doubt you will be disappointed. I wasn’t. And if you do go there, please let us know here on this blog. You just might start something. And isn’t that part of what leadership is about?