A mentor of mine once told me that the answers we seek are all around us, if only we were not so deaf, dumb and blind. We very often simply cannot see, or read, or interpret the subtle clues. I certainly struggle with it, mainly because I am so focused on looking for validation of what I want (desires / preferences / what feels good) that I can hardly hear the whisper of what I need (growth / learning / what feels uncomfortable).
“Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on.” Winston Churchill
Every now and again something will get through to me. That happened yesterday for me. I received unequivocal validation that I was on to something. Here’s the story.
Sara and I were in a truck wreck three weeks back. I rolled the truck at 65 mph after hitting black ice. My wife Sara, our dog and I walked away from the wreck (actually, Stone ran). It was a terrifying experience (bad) and yet so many magical things happened (good) that we walked away. The feeling (intuition) I had was that one hand slapped us down and the other caught us. Sara captured both of our feelings when she said, “I am clear something just ended.” But what?
As we have wrestled with insurer over whether to repair or total the car, we’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster. As traumatic as that has been it has shaken something loose. Thinking about replacing the truck with another like it meant having a car loan. Something about that didn’t feel right.
The issue of money. How many people do you know of that have mastered the darn thing? I look around me. I know people who have a little, one friend is just ahead of homelessness save for another friend’s sofa. I know people who have a comfortable amount coming in. I know people who are totally set for life. And I cannot think of a single person who has a truly high-functioning relationship with money.
I am not talking about knowing how to make it: I am not talking about skill in handling it. I am talking about how money makes them feel, how they cling to it, obsess over it, deny it, feel bad about it, at some level feel they don’t deserve as much as they have, or don’t deserve any more, or don’t need it at all… I am talking about how they relate to money. And how they pretend to relate to it. So something was up and stirring, and one feeling melded into the next.
Something whispered inside me to look up a “money expert” my friends Henry and Jenny told me about, Dave Ramsey. That was four days ago. I searched the web. I downloaded his audiobook, The Total Money Makeover for $9.95 from his web site (50% off, friends). I started listening, and okay, the guy is over-the-top evangelical, but I got something from it. I decided we should buy a truck with cash.
I told Sara and she looked as if she were thinking, “What alien snatched my husband and invaded his body?” Then she was a little disappointed (there went the leather upholstery we wanted). And within 60 seconds, she softened and was palpably relieved. Then she got excited.
For the first time in my life, I am excited about mastering my relationship with money.
Yesterday morning, I was driving up to snow ski with relatives, continuing my listening to podium-pounding David Ramsey and immensely enjoying the show. As I drove up canyon toward Brighton Ski Resort, the traffic slowed to a crawl. Seventeen inches of new powder and a holiday week brought out every skier from the valley. Either that, or someone put up a sign that said “free food.”
I started to get anxious about whether I’d be skiing. Or not. Oh. But why worry? I am enjoying both the information and the pep-talk from Ramsey, and I am getting more and more excited about moving to the next level of money mastery, and more and more clear about what I need to do. Not based on what he is saying but based on what I am feeling, what I already know to do but simply have not done.
When I finally got to the top, saw the “lot full” sign and the grinning Sheriff enforcing its validity while patting his Glock (that’s a firearm, so settle down), I smiled. I knew Dave had arranged to keep me captive audience.
And rather than looking for Plan B (double parking and hiking up to the resort), I submitted to my fate, quite assured that Dave had pulled rank on me. My ski car had been transformed into a mobile classroom, and who was I argue? Heck, out all the windows was snow, evergreen, blue sky and red rock.
As I straightened out the wheel and headed downhill, I smiled: I “knew” (without knowing why I knew) that the “class” (audio) would end just when I left the mouth of the canyon and re-entered the valley. (You will note Dave has a penchant for drama.) Sure enough, as if on queue, Dave closed the book and unlatched the classroom door just as the Salt Lake Valley came into full view…
So I’m driving along, spellbound and a little in awe at how I’m feeling. I decide to just be quiet, and drive. As I head homeward, a truck catches my eye. To you, it likely would be just an old “beater” truck–long ago paid for and now having no value.
But there was something about the way I was seeing the truck made it really stand out in a way I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I whip out my iPhone to take a photo cuz I know something is going down and I don’t know what.
Then, I saw the bumper sticker: the first word was “manifest.” But I couldn’t q-u-i-t-e make out the second word. As that driver and I were making our ways the the stop signs (there are a thousand of them) in the Avenues area of Salt Lake, I’m sure the guy thought I was crazy, pulling right up on his bumper. But still I couldn’t make it out, and I “knew” the answer was right there in front of me.
I was headed to the liquor store (we call ‘em package stores in the South) to buy New Year champagne for the wife and me. And all of a sudden I relaxed. I knew this truck was headed to the same shopping center, LOL! Sure enough, he turns off B Street onto Sixth Avenue. Oh, but it is even better. He doesn’t go into the parking lot: he stops right on the curb!
In glee I swung the block and circled back ’round. I pulled in behind the truck, and I had to laugh as the bumper sticker became legible. In fact, I’m sure as I kneeled down behind the truck, taking a picture for ya with my iPhone, I’m sure all the other folks going by couldn’t figure out what the heck I was doing out in the street, on my knees, taking a photo with my mobile phone of the back what some would call a charismatic but most others would call a “beater” truck.
But I knew what I was doing: and for the thousand messages I’ve missed, I got it. Money will be my #1 theme this year. Money is power. Technically, crystalized power. So you can say I’ll be working with my relationship with power this year, in the context of working with money.
The wreck opened that up that shift (among other things). A feeling queued me. Dave Ramsey hollered at me. And a truck talked to me. That’s how my New Year’s Eve began. And here’s that bumper sticker for you. Who knows. Maybe, based on what you are working on as you plan for 2010, something about this story may be a clue for you as well.
Now the riddle is far from solved. But I got the next step and the next clue. But I’ve been round long enough to know two things. First, this is just a next step and a pat on the back to move forward. Second, this isn’t about money. Don’t think for a second it is. It is about the self mastery. Money, well, that is simply the context in which the learning and mastery of the self will take place.
There’s a place, a context, for you, too, this year. A context in which you are being called to master your self. What is yours? That is the question I hope you are pondering. That is a question worth asking, worth exploring, and worth hunting for clues. B:-) Happy hunting!




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